No one understands the horror that Valentine’s Day can inspire more than dear Miss Havisham.
Truly Valentine’s day isn’t fun for everyone. If you too dread the red hearts and boxed chocolates, I encourage you to embrace the following.
To begin, you may want to swear off carnal love and buy yourself a chastity belt. Here’s an antique one that was auctioned off a few years ago found on Philip Chasen Antiques. Don’t do that.
The Bronx Zoo wants you to name a cockroach after your your ex and so does Miss Havisham.
Buzzfeed has compiled the best of the worst vintage Valentine’s day cards ever. And if you still can’t find one that perfectly expresses your current situation, try the Vintage Valentine Museum blog for more.
You can try to be proactive and order a love potion kit on etsy. What’s in this?????
You can just drink away the pain with someone you wish to…ahem…commiserate with.
May we suggest the delicious sounding Good Old Fashioned Heartbreak cocktail from Julip Made. I can only assume that the dish towel pictured below is for mopping up your bitter bitter tears.
Or you can seek some good old fashioned revenge on the one(s) responsible for your heartbreak.
And then some more revenge…vintage voodoo doll!
Then you can listen to Morrissey or The Magnetic Fields or something very very emo and get your gumption up by reading this beautiful story of love-when-you-least-expect-it by the talented Ms. Dixie Laite on The Lost Art of Being a Dame blog.
And if indeed you do wish to celebrate, do so in style darlings. Skip on down to the Queen Mary for their Vintage Valentine’s dinner. You can stay over and cuddle with the ghosts of this floating hotel of (delicious) hauntings.
Share your worst Valentine’s Day story with Miss Havisham. Email us at email@example.com and we promise to make you feel better.